Answer- how do i stop cutting
1. Infections It's addicting The scars don't go away Your kids will be confused (mine are) Your marriage could end ( mine did) You could lose custody of your kids (I did) It's much harder to date with scars that are hard to hide Even if you overcome what drove you to SI you still have the scars Your body is a gift. It's not very nice to reject that gift by abusing it. You become an easy target for people to judge you You have to listen to docs lecture you while being stitched. The ambulance, and cops can show up at your house in minutes and humilliate you in front of your whole neighborhood It's one step closer to suicide The devil will laugh at you It's easier to hate yourself If your kids catch you they will be traumatized and they will never forget it Reasons not to - interesting thread - happens to be my homework from my T this week also - so let's see -- The scars - I agree, that's a biggy Shame - I would feel awful if my kids knew, I feel like others look down on us for it - why do something you are definitely NOT proud of - doesn't seem a healthy choice Not a healthy way to cope - hope to be a therapist someday, wouldn't want to think that's how my T copes Addiction - do I want to be addicted to anything? It's not any different from being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or overeating. An addiction is an addiction. Don't want to give my life over to that. Abuse - As someone else pointed out, why continue? why take over where your abuser left off? If I give in to abusing myself, I'm suggesting that his view of my selfworth was right. I don't want to give him that. Cycling - it was suggested that si fuels my depression which fuels my si - I need to break the cycle in order to feel better about myself and get out of this rut. I definitely want to stop feeling the way I do right now. I don't know how much longer I can last feeling this way. If stopping can change this feeling, then it would be worth it. That's all I can think of right now. It has helped though. I guess I'll have to keep looking at this post and remembering what I'm working for. Thanks, Quay 1. It makes me feel worse than I already feel 2. It scares the people who really care about me 3. It scares ME, because it makes me realize what I'm capable of. If I'm capable of SI... 4. Its messy if you cut deep, and it can leave a scar Okay, there are some reasons not to. Now, What can you do INSTEAD of hurting yourself? Make a list when your feeling at least partly decent. It can be anything, no matter how wild or silly or stupid it seems. Distraction is REALLY important with SI. Just like quitting smoking, and chewing gum instead. YOu need to occupy your mind. Some things I do: make a list of friends to call one by one. If friend 1 cant chat, call friend 2. IF friend 2 cant chat, call friend 3. And if all else fails, call your national crisis line. Failing that, take yourself to the E.R. if yu can and ask to speak with the duty social worker or psychiatrist. And you know, medication wont stop cutting anyways. So pills can help you calm down enough to think before you do it rationally, but if you are going to cut, there is no magic pill. * SA Self-Injury Help by S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Phone number: 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288) http://www.postsecretcommunity.com/news-faq/wellness (originally posted by Kiya here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=83848) * C.A.R.E.S.S. technique (posted by jeNeTeConnaisPas) stands for: Communicate Alternatively, Releasing Endorphins, Self Soothe. If this interests you, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=99243 to learn more! * Impulse Control Log (posted by sunflower55) "The impulse control log is taken from S.A.F.E and is geared specifically for self-injury but can be used for many types of compulsions. With the impulse control log it is required that you log down every thought or feeling associated with a particular urge to self injure, whether or not you actually go through with the act or not. In the beginning the goal is that the writing will become a diversion from the act itself. The long-term goal is to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors." For more infomation, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=98107 to learn more! * Urge Surfing (posted by Slippers) "Alan Marlatt coined the term used to describe allowing ourselves to think of our urges as waves which we can watch, follow, and see diminish, like ocean waves. The technique works best for people who have had done some work with mindfulness and/or meditation ... This technique can work for the urge to use drugs, to drink, to emotionally eat, to self injure, etc. Unhealthy urges of all kinds can be watched, studied, and allowed to pass. They died off like that crashing wave on the beach. Yes, another will come. But know that you can watch that one pass as well." For more information, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=68979 And here are some books on Self Injury: Some good self-injury related books: * "Secret Scars: Uncovering and Understanding the Addiction of Self-Injury" by V.J. Turner <--- really good read and informative * "Helping Teens Who Cut: Understanding and Ending Self-Injury" by Michael Hollander <--- good book for understanding others self injury * "The Scarred Soul: Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence" by Tracy Alderman <--- good book * "Freedom From Self-Harm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments" by Kim L. Gratz and Alexander L. Chapman <-- haven't read it yet, but it looks good * "Cutting" by Steven Levenkron <-- My ALL-TIME favourite book on the subject of self-injury. * "Bloodletting: A Memoir of Secrets, Self-Harm and Survival" by Victoria Leatham <-- very scary read and hard in parts but really good * "Bodies under Siege: Self-mutilation And Body Modification in Culture and Psychiatry" by Armando R. Favazza <-- This is a more academic book. HOW TO STOP CUTTING Resisting the Urge to Cut If you've been cutting and you want to stop, here are some approaches that might help you. For people who cut, doing something different may be a big change. Making this change can take time because you are learning new ways of dealing with the things that led you to cut. The tips you'll see below can get you started. But a therapist or counselor can do more to help you heal old hurt and use your strengths to cope with life's struggles. Start by being aware of which situations are likely to trigger your urge to cut. Make a commitment that this time you will not follow the urge, but will do something else instead. Here are some things you can try while waiting for a cutting urge to pass: * call a friend and talk about something completely different * take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower) * go for a walk or run, take a bike ride, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise * play with a pet * watch TV (change the channel if the show gets upsetting or features cutting) * drink a glass of water Things That Might Soothe and Calm You Sometimes people cut because they're agitated or angry — even though they may not recognize that feeling. If that's true for you, it can help to do something calming when you feel the need to cut. Even if you're not sure why you're cutting, it's worth giving these ideas a try: * play with a pet * take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower) * take a bath (make sure you don't have razors near the tub) * listen to soothing music that will shift your mood * try a breathing exercise * try some relaxing yoga exercises Things That Might Help You Express the Pain and Deep Emotion Some people cut because the emotions that they feel seem way too powerful and painful to handle. Often, it may be hard for them to recognize these emotions for what they are — like anger, sadness, or other feelings. Here are some alternatives to cutting that you can try: * draw or scribble designs on paper using a red pen or paint on white paper — if it helps, make the paint drip * write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper * draw the pain * compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling * listen to music that talks about how you feel Things That Might Help Release Physical Tension and Distress Sometimes, doing things that express anger or release tension can help a person gradually move away from cutting. Try these ideas: * go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise * rip up some paper * write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper * scribble on paper using a red pen * squeeze, knead, or smoosh a stress ball, handful of clay, or Play-Doh Things That Might Help You Feel Supported and Connected If you cut because you feel alone, misunderstood, unloved, or disconnected, these ideas may help: * call a friend * play with a pet * make a cup of tea, some warm milk, or cocoa * try some yoga exercises that help you feel grounded, such as triangle pose * try a breathing exercise like the one in the button above * curl up on your bed in a soft, cozy blanket Addiction - do I want to be addicted to anything? It's not any different from being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or overeating. An addiction is an addiction. Don't want to give my life over to that. Abuse - As someone else pointed out, why continue? why take over where your abuser left off? If I give in to abusing myself, I'm suggesting that his view of my selfworth was right. I don't want to give him that. Cycling - it was suggested that si fuels my depression which fuels my si - I need to break the cycle in order to feel better about myself and get out of this rut. I definitely want to stop feeling the way I do right now. I don't know how much longer I can last feeling this way. If stopping can change this feeling, then it would be worth it. That's all I can think of right now. It has helped though. I guess I'll have to keep looking at this post and remembering what I'm working for. Thanks, Quay 1. It makes me feel worse than I already feel 2. It scares the people who really care about me 3. It scares ME, because it makes me realize what I'm capable of. If I'm capable of SI... 4. Its messy if you cut deep, and it can leave a scar Okay, there are some reasons not to. Now, What can you do INSTEAD of hurting yourself? Make a list when your feeling at least partly decent. It can be anything, no matter how wild or silly or stupid it seems. Distraction is REALLY important with SI. Just like quitting smoking, and chewing gum instead. YOu need to occupy your mind. Some things I do: make a list of friends to call one by one. If friend 1 cant chat, call friend 2. IF friend 2 cant chat, call friend 3. And if all else fails, call your national crisis line. Failing that, take yourself to the E.R. if yu can and ask to speak with the duty social worker or psychiatrist. And you know, medication wont stop cutting anyways. So pills can help you calm down enough to think before you do it rationally, but if you are going to cut, there is no magic pill. * SA Self-Injury Help by S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Phone number: 1-800-DONT-CUT (1-800-366-8288) http://www.postsecretcommunity.com/news-faq/wellness (originally posted by Kiya here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=83848) * C.A.R.E.S.S. technique (posted by jeNeTeConnaisPas) stands for: Communicate Alternatively, Releasing Endorphins, Self Soothe. If this interests you, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=99243 to learn more! * Impulse Control Log (posted by sunflower55) "The impulse control log is taken from S.A.F.E and is geared specifically for self-injury but can be used for many types of compulsions. With the impulse control log it is required that you log down every thought or feeling associated with a particular urge to self injure, whether or not you actually go through with the act or not. In the beginning the goal is that the writing will become a diversion from the act itself. The long-term goal is to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors." For more infomation, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=98107 to learn more! * Urge Surfing (posted by Slippers) "Alan Marlatt coined the term used to describe allowing ourselves to think of our urges as waves which we can watch, follow, and see diminish, like ocean waves. The technique works best for people who have had done some work with mindfulness and/or meditation ... This technique can work for the urge to use drugs, to drink, to emotionally eat, to self injure, etc. Unhealthy urges of all kinds can be watched, studied, and allowed to pass. They died off like that crashing wave on the beach. Yes, another will come. But know that you can watch that one pass as well." For more information, please go here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=68979 And here are some books on Self Injury: Some good self-injury related books: * "Secret Scars: Uncovering and Understanding the Addiction of Self-Injury" by V.J. Turner <--- really good read and informative * "Helping Teens Who Cut: Understanding and Ending Self-Injury" by Michael Hollander <--- good book for understanding others self injury * "The Scarred Soul: Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence" by Tracy Alderman <--- good book * "Freedom From Self-Harm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments" by Kim L. Gratz and Alexander L. Chapman <-- haven't read it yet, but it looks good * "Cutting" by Steven Levenkron <-- My ALL-TIME favourite book on the subject of self-injury. * "Bloodletting: A Memoir of Secrets, Self-Harm and Survival" by Victoria Leatham <-- very scary read and hard in parts but really good * "Bodies under Siege: Self-mutilation And Body Modification in Culture and Psychiatry" by Armando R. Favazza <-- This is a more academic book. HOW TO STOP CUTTING Resisting the Urge to Cut If you've been cutting and you want to stop, here are some approaches that might help you. For people who cut, doing something different may be a big change. Making this change can take time because you are learning new ways of dealing with the things that led you to cut. The tips you'll see below can get you started. But a therapist or counselor can do more to help you heal old hurt and use your strengths to cope with life's struggles. Start by being aware of which situations are likely to trigger your urge to cut. Make a commitment that this time you will not follow the urge, but will do something else instead. Here are some things you can try while waiting for a cutting urge to pass: * call a friend and talk about something completely different * take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower) * go for a walk or run, take a bike ride, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise * play with a pet * watch TV (change the channel if the show gets upsetting or features cutting) * drink a glass of water Things That Might Soothe and Calm You Sometimes people cut because they're agitated or angry — even though they may not recognize that feeling. If that's true for you, it can help to do something calming when you feel the need to cut. Even if you're not sure why you're cutting, it's worth giving these ideas a try: * play with a pet * take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower) * take a bath (make sure you don't have razors near the tub) * listen to soothing music that will shift your mood * try a breathing exercise * try some relaxing yoga exercises Things That Might Help You Express the Pain and Deep Emotion Some people cut because the emotions that they feel seem way too powerful and painful to handle. Often, it may be hard for them to recognize these emotions for what they are — like anger, sadness, or other feelings. Here are some alternatives to cutting that you can try: * draw or scribble designs on paper using a red pen or paint on white paper — if it helps, make the paint drip * write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper * draw the pain * compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling * listen to music that talks about how you feel Things That Might Help Release Physical Tension and Distress Sometimes, doing things that express anger or release tension can help a person gradually move away from cutting. Try these ideas: * go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise * rip up some paper * write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper * scribble on paper using a red pen * squeeze, knead, or smoosh a stress ball, handful of clay, or Play-Doh Things That Might Help You Feel Supported and Connected If you cut because you feel alone, misunderstood, unloved, or disconnected, these ideas may help: * call a friend * play with a pet * make a cup of tea, some warm milk, or cocoa * try some yoga exercises that help you feel grounded, such as triangle pose * try a breathing exercise like the one in the button above * curl up on your bed in a soft, cozy blanket Then make a plan for what you will do instead of cutting when you feel this urge. Below are some tips you can try when you feel the urge to cut. We've put them into several categories because different people cut for different reasons. So certain techniques will work better for some people than others. Look through all the tips and try the ones that you think might work for you. You may need to experiment because not all of these ideas will work for everyone. For example, some readers have told us that snapping a rubber band works for them as a substitute for cutting but others say that the rubber band triggers an urge to snap it too hard and they end up hurting themselves. If one tip isn't right for you, that's OK. Use your creativity to find a better idea. Or talk with your therapist to get other ideas on what could work for you. The idea is to find a substitute for cutting — something that satisfies a need you might feel without being as harmful as cutting. You may also find that one of these ideas works for you sometimes but not always. That's OK too. What a person needs can vary from time to time and from situation to situation. The techniques listed on the following pages will help you think about why you might cut — as well as offer ideas on other things to do when you feel like cutting. The more you learn about what's underneath your cutting behavior, the better you will be able to understand and develop healthy ways to heal that pain. Things That Might Distract You Like all urges, the urge to cut will pass if you wait it out. Distracting yourself with something else helps time go by and gets your mind off the urge to cut. The more you wait out the urge without giving in, the more your urges will decrease over time. Things That Are Substitutes for the Cutting Sensation You'll notice that all the tips in the lists above have nothing to do with the cutting sensation. When you have the idea to self-injure, start by trying the ideas on those lists — such as making art, walking your dog, or going for run. If they don't help, move on to the substitute behaviors shown below. These substitute behaviors won't work for everyone. They also don't help people get in touch with why they are cutting. What they do is provide immediate relief in a way that doesn't involve cutting, and therefore holds less risk of harm. * rub an ice cube on your skin instead of cutting it * wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently against your skin * draw on the skin with a soft-tipped red pen in the place you might usually cut You Can Do It Cutting can be a difficult pattern to break. But it is possible. If you want help overcoming a self-injury habit and you're having trouble finding anything that works for you, talk with a therapist. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that someone is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's problems in a healthy way. Would you ever consider seeing a Therapist, or if you are in school, see the school counsellor? THEY CANNOT PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL AGAINST YOUR WILL UNLESS YOU ARE A SEVERE DANGER TO YOURSELF. Always always remember this - unless you say you intend to kill yourself, SELF INJURY IS NOT SUICIDAL IN NATURE.You arent trying to kill yourself - your trying to either get rid of a feeling, or your trying to feel something (if your numb) And please. Love yourself. Because as a cutter I understand that people like us, we are not crazy, dumb or bad, or awful. Do we do it for attention? Id bet that a TINY portion of the time that might be true in the sense that we want people to understand THIS IS HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN. But again, your not bad, wrong, crazy or any of those things Cutting works like this: Lets say you have one of those hanging scales. We put all of your coping abilities on one side, and your issues or negative thought patterns on the other. Eventually, no matter who it is, if you put enough stressful things on that side, its going to be heavier than the other side. Cutting happens when you run out of the ability to cope with the stressors. You may need to make major lifestyle changes to get anywhere with this. You may need to open yourself up to therapy. Lots of places have free therapists that will work with you. And if all else fails, lots of good people on Psychcentral who have been there. You can also email me anytime ok? Xxoo
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